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Tuesday, November 11, 2008
When Do I Get to Be Wonder-Woman?
Long day. Long week. Long 13 years.
It's not been a bad day - just a long one. Once again, I'm going to bed feeling like I haven't met every one's needs (including my own). I've accomplished a lot - 3 meals made and cleaned up, stripped and re-sheeted the beds, general clean-up all day long, Rebekah's hair (no small task), read to the boys, talked with the girls, a little bit of yard work, etc. And yet . . . I feel like I got annoyed too much today, Joseph went to bed feeling neglected because I didn't play 4 square with him (although I did play Checkers), James went to bed hating me (he said so himself) because I put his lego star ship away (after he woke Jalen up twice, playing with it), the kitchen floor still isn't mopped (sometimes I don't know how Erik can stand to come home), speaking of mops - my hair still looks like a big mop (I wanted to get it cut today, but when Joseph started torturing James, and then threw his Lego's at my face, I knew I couldn't leave the girls to babysit him), and I wonder if I've taught the girls anything at all (manners, self-esteem, how to clean up, organization, etc.)
I'm trying. Each day I start all over again. Trying to be a better person than I was yesterday. Trying to accomplish it all. Trying to please everyone. And yet . . . each night I roll into bed wondering. Wondering how I could have accomplished so little. Wondering if I'll ever be enough for everyone. Wondering if I've even come close to fulfilling the mission Father sent me here to do. Wondering if I even make a mark on this Earth experience. Wondering . . . when do I get to be Wonder-Woman?
(Wrote this late last night, but didn't post it. Wasn't sure that I wanted to. It was a little personal, maybe a little too whiny/too depressing to post to the cyber-world. But as I climbed into bed I remembered a link I have under my favorites called The Invisible Woman. I watched it again just now, and decided I would share my "Not Yet Wonder Woman" post, because I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way at times.) Check out The Invisible Woman, it's under my favorites.
So for now, I'll give up my dream of being Wonder Woman, and embrace The Invisible Woman that I am. So, if you'll excuse me, I have some cleaning to do!
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3 comments:
You post made me recall all too many of my days as a mother of 6. No easy fix. Give yourself a whole lot more credit!!! You have thee hardest and yet most important "job" and your "boss" is watching over you and will bless you.
Thanks. I always looked up to you and what you were able to accomplish. You made it look so effortless, balancing family with your callings, but with a little more perspective now, I can appreciate just how much hard work (and worry) you put into both tasks. Thanks for all you did then, and thanks for your note of encouragement.
Your post made me remember how life as a young mom was when my first few kids were all little at the same time. Even though life is still crazy for me sometimes, I can tell you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Four of my kids are adults now, and they have have become amazing people. They don't want you to know it yet, but they are learning from you everyday. And when the time comes, they'll put all of that to good use. Keep plugging along.
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