The Greatest Pet We Never Had

The kids had just left for school this morning, a fiasco to be for sure, and I went into the kitchen to calm my nerves before having to start on my daily duties. I was standing there enjoying a fresh nectarine, when a long tail caught my eye. At the base of our far brick wall, there was a varmint chasing all the birds away. Now, normally I don't mind things that chase birds away (they eat fresh sprouting plants you know - not that we have any planted - and I myself used to have to chase the birds at my parents' home. It was our job as kids to open up the sliding glass door really fast, and send the birds scurrying out of our yard and into someone else's.) Anyhow, this thing looked like a rat.

I don't like rats, though there is one in the family as a pet to my nieces in nephews. I was raised to hate rats, and I do. I scare my kids with stories of rats, so that they won't leave food out, or hide it under their beds. Obviously my scare tactics haven't worked . . . either that or I disrupted the natural food chain when I killed our dear King Snake "Slither" the other day. Oh right, I didn't mention that. Sorry, I've been a little upset over it - seriously! So the day after we caught Slither, I took it outside and let the kids hold it (well, Rebekah, Joseph and I at least - the others kept their distance). It was cool to feel it wrap around our hands, and slither up our arm. It was SO happy being outside - too cold really for it inside - so I decided to leave it outside for the night (in it's aquarium of course). It was happy and active. The only problem, was that I forgot to bring it in the next day, and well, it sort of, well, it . . . it baked. When I remembered it that afternoon, it was coiled up and stiff as a board. I am still feeling such guilt over it, something that my kids like to chide me about. I killed my first pet snake too; it was a garden snake that Alison and I caught when we were young. We put it inside a flower box that was actually an old tire, figuring that it would be happy there, and safe from my mother. Well, it couldn't get out, and a bird ate it. Sigh.

So, back to the dilemma at hand. I ran outside looking for the varmint - hoping that I would find it so I could dispose of it, but also hoping that I wouldn't really find it. I found it! It was tangled up in a net in the corner of the garden, one that I should have folded up and put away a long time ago. Thank goodness for the tender mercies of the Lord! It was all tangled up, and I was able to pick it up by the tail and drop it into the [now] empty aquarium. (By the way, Joseph, that was the best $3 you've ever spent on anything. That aquarium has come in quite handy.) I made that sound so nonchalant, but really it was an ordeal to get it in the aquarium. Jalen Andrew was hanging onto to me for dear life, while emitting a very worried whine, and then the dang net kept getting in the way, and my tools kept getting tangled in it. There were a couple of times when the varmint started for a near by bush, and I thought it was going to take off. Finally I got the varmint and the net sufficiently in the tank, with the lid on it. On the outside I cut away the net, so that the poor thing could drop down in. Everything was going well, and I was getting kind of excited that I was going to have a new "pet" to show the kids - not that I was planning on keeping it for more than a day. The varmint was moving around as I cut it loose, until I got to the last strand, and as I cut it, I realized that the varmint had gotten really still. Yep, you guessed it, the last strand just happened to be the one wrapped around it's neck, and it was hung to death.

Dejection! The kids will be so disappointed. I am so disappointed!

And yet, relieved too. Killing it on purpose wasn't a fun idea either.

The thing is about 6 1/2 inches long, with a tail about 5 inches long. It's brownish/grayish, with a lighter under belly. It was caught near a shrub by our citrus trees. I think it might be a roof rat, but am not quite sure. Oh, and did I mention that it has sharp, yellow teeth?!

So, now I'm officially horrified by the thing. Adrenaline was carrying me through the experience of catching it, but now that I've researched it a bit on the internet, and am reminded at just how foul, uncouth, disease infested, and nasty (not to mention how often they create litters) I am officially grossed out. I think it's fair to say that we will be doing yard work tomorrow, cleaning up quite a bit, and setting some sizable traps.

To quote the woman who taught me to hate rats and mice, "Ewwwww."