That being the case, I usually choose one day of the weekend to keep the patch off, so that he feels the need to fill up that skinny body of his. I chose Sunday.
Well, off the patch, he is a bit out of control. Just during Sacrament Meeting he punched me, scratched me, drove his nails into my arm, and ran the bottom of his shoe down the shins of my legs. Somehow I had managed to sit in the middle of the pew, and I had no way of picking up James and taking him out, without him kicking everyone's heads as I passed. I just sat there restraining him the best I could, tears streaming down my face, and trying to love him through the moment. I tried not to look at Erik, who was sitting on the stand, because I was fighting to hold back the tears, but I caught his eye a couple of times, and I could tell that it was killing him to watch me endure. Somehow we made it to the end of the meeting.
I was glad to go on to Sunday School and Relief Society. I needed a break. But then just as Relief Society was about to close, a nursery worker brought Jalen Andrew in (and although I was heading to the hall to talk to her) announced to the entire Relief Society that Jalen Andrew had scratched another boy. I guess that wasn't all. He had been taking toys from other kids, stealing other kids snacks, and then drew blood when he scratched another boy on the face. Sigh. I tried to hold it in, but I started crying again. I hung my head, clung to Jalen Andrew, and pushed my way through the crowded hall, tears dripping as I walked. I waited for the kids outside, out by the bishop's office, and Jalen Andrew fell asleep almost immediately. He was tired - he was aggressive because he was overly tired - and because James steals HIS food and HIS toys all the time. My sweet boy had been kicked out of nursery, and his brother was struggling for any time of self-control he could manage.
Tomorrow will be better. For now, I'm just glad that Sunday is over.
4 comments:
Oh, Jeanette!! My heart broke for you in Relief Society as I over heard what was happening in nursery (I would have been humiliated!). You'd like to think nobody else knows your child isn't perfect even though none of them are. And I know how hard it is to be a "single" mom in sacrament meeting and I just have my one little one!! I think you are one amazing mom...I make some sort of comment to that effect to David on a very regular basis!!
You are an amazing woman Jeanette, that's all i have to say. There is no way I, or many other people, could possibly be as patient as you are. Your such a good example
i'm so sorry! that sounds like an awful time. i hope this sunday goes better, but if not, i would LOVE to help in any way...you're amazing! you're doing an awesome job and i have a lot of admiration for all that you endure!!
Jacob says the hardest part of him being in Iraq is that he feels so helpless to help me. Sometimes I feel helpless to help me too, sometimes I just want to get on a bus and go away from everyone and everything and start over, but I don't know, like you said the next day is Monday. I know you are probably over that wild day, but thanks for posting this. I'm so overwhelmed right now by things I can't control, and it's a good reminder that sometimes it's ok to cry and then move on to tomorrow.
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